Why the opinions of other people kept me stuck

When I stopped drinking over a year ago, I didn’t tell anybody except my husband who also stopped drinking at the same time, and of course I explained to our kids that we were having a break from beer, that’s it, no big deal.

I had no idea at the time where this journey would take me, I thought that it would just be a break to see how things went but as the time passed and I began to feel increasingly better in myself and more proud of my achievements…

The title of this piece says it all really, I know that unlike quitting alcohol, my mindset just isn’t right yet. But why I wonder? I am going through a phase at the moment which is very similar to the final weeks of my drinking days. We’re in a bit of a love/hate relationship cigarettes and I.

Of course I know that cigs are evil, I know deep down that I don’t need them. I am under no illusion that smoking is cool and sophisticated. I know it is antisocial, disgusting and dangerous. I smoke rollies and I am sick…

The thought of surviving in my own home without alcohol terrified me — after all what else was I supposed to do?

Working from home and being a stay at home Mum is what allowed my drinking to get out of control. I was, after all, free from the judgement of other people and able to indulge and recover however I wanted without the constraints of a regular job. If I was hungover then I could go back to bed after the school run and if the kids had a day off school then there was no reason why I…

When I realized that I had to quit drinking I had the same thoughts and feelings as we all do, whether we want to stop completely or just cut down it is easy to focus on what we believe the positives of alcohol to be. We then get really cold feet when we look at the alternative and begin to worry about the things we will miss about drinking. Things such as feeling the buzz on a night out, relaxing into that first glass of wine when we get home, using alcohol to loosen us up and be more sociable…

I am an introvert, I spend a lot of time in my head and yes, I do have full on conversations with myself too. Thankfully though since quitting drinking over a year ago, my mind is no longer a crazy battlefield, the conversations are no longer fraught with negative self talk, shame, regret and fighting the beer monster. The chatter is often much lighter, it’s more positive, full of possibilities, there’s still lots of questions but it’s more like a tranquil oasis compared to the volcano it once was.

Even so, the thoughts and feelings and emotions are still there…

When I realized I had to do something about my drinking, I was terrified. Sounds crazy, right? Here I was desperately wanting to change my life for the better yet I was gripped by a deep feeling of fear and dread. I know I wasn’t alone in having those feelings. I work with people all the time who tell me that fear is the main reason why they struggle to take that first step. I get it, it is scary when you think about removing something from your life that has been so deeply ingrained for so long. I also…

My journey to an alcohol free lifestyle began a year ago. That is one year without hangovers, one year of brilliant sleep, one year of not disappointing my children, a year of ‘firsts’ and new experiences, a year free from anxiety, guilt and regret and a year of getting to know myself, who I really am without alcohol holding me back and blurring the edges of my life.

Now, if you had told me 365 days ago that I would be here raving about an alcohol free life, I would have laughed into my wine glass. Me? No way! How…

Why I will never have ‘just one’

“I never used to drink until I had kids” My friend told me once after I watched her separate her two kids who were pulling hair, biting, kicking and fighting over who got to sit in the back of the playhouse. I nodded in agreement and we raised our glasses to motherhood.

That’s what we do isn’t it — us mums? If you look around at all of the popular Facebook groups and the Mummy and wine memes, then it certainly seems so.

I thought I did, for over ten years I would…